The Raining Summer!!!

I’ve been editing this blog for a long time and waited for a happy ending.


It was May 13, the day I got freed from all the UG academic stuff and started to enjoy the life as it comes. I never took things seriously and lived the way as it is; do remember I don’t have job in hand or an ambition. But we friends make call after call and we do make conference calls for discussing the ways to get a job. All we need was to just keep ourselves occupied by these searches.


Days went, weeks ran and month has been wasted without having anything than my friends with me. As a dialogue from 3-idiots goes “you become sad when your friend has failed but you become sadder when the same left you behind and topped the class”. The latter feeling provided the spark for almost all of us. The real desperation for a job started there, it nearly took 45 days for the ignition. The real summer it was and the heat was literally on.


Cause of my over confidence I thought finding a job is not that difficult, but things did not unfold the way I thought. Still I had an intuition of employing myself somewhere. By then it was a rainy period in Chennai and even I experienced a shower of rain as I got a job in a small firm near Anna Nagar. I was quite happy because I can say that I’m employed than being idle. That company expected lot of input from the batch of 8 members where I was one of the 4 UGs. They were very clear about filtering the under performing guys. We were asked to work in an advanced tool. I couldn’t cope up with the PGs there but later I did to great extent. At the end of the training all the UGs were filtered and stipend was paid. That was my first failure and my first so called salary. To my fate both the rainy period in Chennai and in my life was a short one.


SMS, Ah it was one short thing which caused the big damage. The most common question”Wat yo dng?” has only one answer “Vetti than(IDLE)” . I know my friends care me a lot, as I couldn’t show the successful result I thought I’m not worth their care. As there is an Invisible option in the status of IMs I changed my life status to that. Never replied to messages, never attended the calls. I pretended to my brothers that I carry my mobile but never did I. Even I tonsured my head to avoid seeing my friends. The sun was at my overhead.


My desperation started to build when my brothers’ marriage was on the row. I want to invite my friends in person but couldn’t go to their home cause of joblessness. I found myself ashamed at that. I urged myself and pushed hard at me at every trial. I started from the basics went on and on. This time I marked a deadline as a week before the betrothal as I don’t want to put my head down at the big function. For someone sake I got so near of having one yet it was far. The marriage went on well but not for me.


One of my friends said “For a Success you need a manly effort and lady luck together”. I had the manly effort obviously the lady luck hesitated to smile for 15 occasions. Almost it was 15 interviews before my first notable success in SEP 19th in TCS which I appeared twice earlier. I wished to be there. Thereafter it was Cognizant, in which I’m working now.

Finally summer ended in a Rainy season.

WHAT I AM?

I'm, What I'm? A self testimonial.

Nothing is perfect in the GOD, in the world and in me. Never ever I thought of being a perfectionist but pretended to be that at times.

I almost got a rebirth at my age of six to live this beautiful life or making it more beautiful for me to live.

I learnt lot of things from people who inspired me a lot.
I was inspired from my brother about the effect of photography. Though he hasn't taken much snaps to illustrate his interest in photography, I roped myself to it.

I started taking snaps from my CAM mobile which appealed beautiful to me and I posted those in NET just to show people around me to know how beautiful are the things around me and them.

I was inspired by a friend who taught me the do's and don'ts in portrait drawing. To my beginners' luck I had the perfect portrait sketches of some and I claimed for some and some are still in claiming. To admit my friend had never sketched a portrait.

I have loads and loads of friends. I almost share everything with them but I never developed a habit of sharing my pain or feelings or sorrows. Thats how and why I started blogging just to say what I want to and what I longed to say.

And atlast it was a professional who never taught me about GRAFITTI but made me jealous about his sketches which made me to pencil down something like that. In this case I must admit I claimed my sketches to be grafitti which aren't.

All the while in my life, I never developed anything on my own, I'm just a wannabe of the persons whom I meet in everydays' life. In Simple words I'm trying to be someone.I suppose this makes my life beautiful.

These things are not worth enough to post in the Internet I do it just to showoff myself, afterall showing off is a publicity stunt. I'm unwounded in doing these stunts cause I have you behind me to criticize it, read it, see it, and comment on it.

Finally
Its YOU i CARE;
Its YOU i TREASURE;
Its YOU i NEVER FORGET;
Its YOU that defines WHAT i AM?

Love Story!!!

As in every love story, it revolves around two persons a teenage boy and a same age girl. I never want to name them, and this story lack emotions.

To The story...


The boy was in his way out of the teen, was having a fabulous life with his six brothers and two sisters. They all lived together in a remote village. He is the eldest son in the family. He goes to school, which is near the town and was doing his 11th standard. On going to school he has to cross one of his relations’ (aunty) home.


One day his aunty asked him to accompany her in home as some portion of her house is being rented to someone and they’re on their way to the home. So he stayed there and finally a aged couple came as tenants.


Soon after their granddaughter came there to stay with that aged couple as she discontinued her studies. The boy for some reason came to his aunty house and saw the girl over there. He felt something on seeing her which he couldn’t explain and started towards his home without meeting his aunty. He exclaim as Love at first sight.


Days later ….


He came again this time his intention was to see her and talk to her. As he wished he saw her with his aunty and both exchanged smiles as they’re being given intro. He had a brief chat with the girl and a longer one with his aunty and returned home.



He started to come weekly once to the house. As days rolled the frequency of his meeting increased and the chat got briefer with his aunty and increased with the girl. He used to come during the recess times he got in his institution and started to meet her again and again and again.



They started to move around the village and have daylong chats and leave the place. He used to bunk his classes to meet her. The days were fabulous once again this time the feelings were different. They know they love each other but never said or never proposed. Things were going as beautiful as it would be.



Their relationship were strong but not long enough due to the very old aunt. She started to doubt the boy for his more frequent meetings. She heard about their meetings outside from the forth person and warned the boy for his activities. But they never showed any hesitation in meeting each other.



One day the girl didn’t turn up to the common meeting place (a tree near the big well) of the duo. When he went to the house he found the girls’ house locked up. When asked his aunty about it she told that they have moved to some other place. But he later came to know that his aunty have forced the aged couple to vacate the house. The boy never saw the girl again and nor did she.



Maybe the boy would have lived a happy ever life by marrying his love. But don’t know whether I would have got a loving father like him. I’m sure he was happier than that.



This was my Dad’s love experience which he shared it with me years back, probably the first real love story I heard.


LOVE STORY 1970

Anonymous

Anonymous, the word makes a lot of sense with the senseless identities. Every one of us would have heard this word or experienced the anonymity by somehow, but is it worth to have anonymous identity.

The all divine god whom we call with some names is anonymous, for convenience many named it and celebrated the so called existence of those Named Idols in their own way. So many religions came into existence cause of these Stoned Cartoons and unique ideas to believe it.

As our ancestors said God is just to experience and that doesn’t abide to our senses, and we would be judged for our virtues and sins we do in our lifetime (JUDGEMENT DAY). To make it more understanding we were brought up with these words “God would poke our eyes in the night “ringing day by day in our ears during childhood.

Who is god? Sorry who are gods? A group of lunatic worshipers made a historic monument into rubble saying that it was supposed to be their gods’ place. And you would have understood the issue now. As for as my knowledge Ram sorry LORD RAMA was a just a character in an epic (RAMAYANAM) written by Valmiki, We forgot to praise him for his creative thoughts rather we gave life to the character and a Highest Designation (GOD). OMG!!! I am neither a Muslim nor a supporter of that religion. The case of that BABRI MASJID is still in process. I wonder whether those worshippers did a virtue in the name of their god or sin as they harassed the belief of the other religion. I wish someone to poke their eyes even they’re poked already.

LORD GANESH, MURUGAN, SHIVA and their Co are the characters of the other epic MAHABHARATHAM. Ah! There are many in this religion to worship and I’m confused whom to worship. It is insane to sink in the thoughts of anonymous and believe them.

One man with his different thoughts preached his opinions and ideas and there made a new religion. And he goes by the name lalit modi sorry Mohammed Nabi.
Another religions is formed by a child of a virgin mother who was said to have cured all the physical and mental illness in people and who said to have resurrected from his grave after three days. These two were common about one god hypothesis but the later named the god after his name and the other didn't. Thus there was two new religions Islam and Christianity was born. The history of all the religions is as simple as it is but the importance and effect of those religions are enormous.

Whatever the religion may be, people are still crazy about there own religions and its customs, When people find it difficult to follow a religion they just create their own custom and name it a religion. If that supposed to be a fact then Atheist is also a religion with no God or God in every soul as their idea.

These insane thoughts and belief of the people are being exploited by many, some are caught and yet many are there still exploiting.

If one can be called as god, if they were the characters in a novel or simply they existed when we weren’t there. Then there are many yet to be called as god.

I wish to be an atheist and I'm.

Its another silly text from me, I hope I don’t hurt any.

EPIDEMIC!!!

Epidemic means a disease in a particular community. Its all about Brain Drain and migrating from country to study or earn and its epidemic, it may not cover the complete process and causes of brain drain, its my perception about this epidemic disease.


As I'm on the verge of completing my undergraduate, I hear my friends say about this and they got great desire rather a goal to get out of the country sorry our country. Their goal is very simple i.e to do a Post graduate over there, and earn some and return to India and for some others its like having their child over there to have the child's education at lower cost in an alien country. To put it in simple words they are trying to give this epidemic disease as a legacy to their upcoming generations.


I admit even I was affected once with this disease but very soon I recognized my country is no mean than the country they wish to go to earn or to study. Now I'm immune to it don't know how longer the immunity works. I wish the same immunity to be there with everyone who are trying to expel themselves out of their own country.


There is lot in our country to hail and to be hailed. If you still think you're missing something in our country then work hard to achieve what you're missing here and achieve it while you are still a voting citizen. Instead of spending lakhs in a country where your future is a big question mark, invest in your nation, build the nation and grow with nation. The country will remember you for that and not for studying somewhere and achieving it elsewhere and finally saying that you're Indian born Something.


From the view of these patients, they say the only option for them to earn quickly and swiftly is to become an alien to their ones' own country. They don't call this epidemic as a BRAIN DRAIN but they call it as a epidemic process of MONEY GAIN. Everyone has the desire to earn quickly and legally(to be noted off), but the path they take to do so is not liked by all and by me. For me an objective is a point in three dimensional space there are n number of ways to achieve the point. The thing is we should select the best path.


The path chosen by you all is not THE BEST, whats there in chasing the money in a foreign place and to become foreigner(ALIEN) among your relatives and fellow mates. It might be a BRAIN DRAIN or MONEY GAIN, but beware its like your betraying your motherland of her lack of potentiality.


Finally Its good to be Mr.Venkatraman Ramakrishnan who is residing at UK and a citizen of US, a Nobel laureate in 2009 added to all he is INDIAN-BORN scientist, but the best is Mr.Sir Chandrasekar Venkatraman who was an Indian citizen and a Nobel laureate in 1930. I hope there is enough growth in our country between 1930 and 2009. I feel guilty there isn't enough growth in our minds.

"Be proud to be Indian and make India proud of you"

Two Beautiful Words!!!

We would have learnt about many civilizations in the race of mankind. In all the civilizations we had one common word “KADHAL” , the word and the purity of the meaning is beautiful in Tamil than in any other language. LOVE a beautiful word, only word shared by many religions, and hope would share the same feeling for the upcoming religions too.

As decades passed this (Avanum Nokinal Avalum Nokinal) love has touched many horizons and passed new dimensions.

Now mankind has found another beautiful yet confusing word called CRUSH. I hope almost everyone would have known this word. The dictionary meaning says “a strong feeling of love but not long lasting” and the dictionary meaning of love also says the same without giving respect to time.

A person will surely get into confusion of LOVE AND CRUSH, the two beautiful words of mankind with respect to its meaning and feeling. Now love and crush are the two distinct and alike inventions, invented for the sake of mankind. When asked about others about their opinion about these two confusing yet beautiful words.

The opinions were great and different answers but some find it difficulty in answering these questions perhaps they would have thought I am not the right person to share their opinions. Now to list the different opinions

Opinion ! : Crush is due to the attraction of opposite genders’ physical features and love is a attraction of hearts which has got greater depth in relationship.

Opinion !! : Crush is referred to as liking someone and it may and it’ll vary with time and person, loving someone for their unique character will be a LOVE.

Opinion !!! : Crush is loving someone with a reason and love makes you feel the pain and pleasure subsequently and with no reasons.

Opinion !V : Crush is never expressed love and the corollary is not applicable.

Opinion V : Crush is all about the lust and its nature, Love is the affection for one another.

Hmm…that seems everyone have got their own opinions, even I do. I would say I don’t believe in the crush thing. Based on the opinions, you could have got crush with almost everyone even with some famous celebrities like Katrina Kaif, Aishwarya Rai even after becoming Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and so on.

As they say opinion always differs with person and time, I really got confused with these beatutiful words. By the time one thinks that he\she is in love with the other, it sadly turns into a so called crush even vice versa happens at times. The situations are worse in both the cases.

But I believe in love, a matured love which understands feelings more than words, still I’m immature.

These two beautiful words are well spoken among every single and committed fellow but not with married ones’. Hope there would be no place for crush with the married people and wishing the same.

I like to say “Fall in love, never chase the love”. Because IT (LOVE) happens in everyone’s life, you have to get that noticed and act accordingly.

Beautiful things cannot be left as such when it being misused or misunderstood, Just as these two beautiful words

DAD!!!

I hide this post as I don't want to read it again. This is posted to make ease of my heart. Please select all to read.

This post is about me and my never told feelings. So I don’t want you to comment on it.

I never felt lonely in my home even after my brothers went to Bangalore for their job, to be in apt my life was at its best with only me, my dad and my mom in the home. Whenever I return to home tired, I would rejoice by just seeing my dad’s bike at the gate. Me and my dad used to have a great time together, Seeing the cricket matches together, he would not eat till I return from my shop, I used to drive him to all the places, we would be arguing on all the topics till late night and even till midnight. I and my mom used to tease my dad and he’ll finally burst into laughter. To be precise we did not have a relationship of parent and a son, we were like true friends.

I shared almost everything to him, he could not have know you by names or face but by your character like the one with the big moustache, the one with his own business, the one who wants to go abroad, the one to whom I used to chat, the one near our new building the list goes on and on. When we had great fun and arguments, I always pray God to make the moment to live forever. But God has some different plans to make things horrible.

June 4:

I did not know this is the last day of my life with my Dad. I returned late from my shop, due to some unavoidable reasons. I reached home and saw my Dad already sleeping so did not have the idea of waking him up. I had dinner and went to my room switched on the system. I hate sleeping early, so used to kill the time by doing nothing or browse for hours.

June 5:

I was browsing till 2.00AM, and set an alarm at 6.00AM to have a jog with my dad who usually goes to walking at that time as he is a heart patient. As I was already tired I couldn’t wake up even after the alarm went off, but I can sense my Dad leaving the home for his routine walking. I slept even after that; time was 7.20 AM mom waked me up and said that dad has not returned home who is expected to return by 7.00 or 7.10 AM. I did not have any fear as this has happened earlier when I went search of my dad he returned home the next minute ; expecting the same to happen again I went in a search of my dad. I reached the place where my dad used to park his vehicle; surprisingly even at 7.35AM his bike was there, thought he was having a chat with someone. After several minutes of search found him still lying in the open ground with three strangers and a police covering him, this time I cannot let him sleep. I hurried and did what all I can do, a son can do and friend can do to bring him back but in vain. I touched his hand it was already cold amidst sunny day. His stomach which was to be my pillow while arguing was like stone.

I called my uncle he came there within minutes, I was asked to get a vehicle to take him away. I asked many drivers, many who know our family but none had the courtesy to come, so I decided to take our car. Mean while my mom called me and asked about dad, I said he is lying and dead. She did not believe as I used to bully her by saying these before, I cursed myself and started to home. I don’t know how to say or react to my mom as she would be expecting both of us to return home. When I reached home my com came smiling (the last smile I would have seen) and asked about dad, I gained strength and said the truth still she started shouting in agony, I can understand but there is no time for me to console her I asked my neighbor to take care meanwhile my aunty came home.

I took the car an went to the spot and we carried my dad in the car, I did not want to take him to the hospital as I was afraid of post mortem and treating my dad as mere corpse. On the way to home I signed a No doubt certificate in Nandabakkam Police Station and went home with my dad. The moments inside the car with my dad were my last moments. I kept my dad’s lips in a smiling position, coz I love him that way. We reached home and my dad was kept in the car for hours as the Ice box did not arrive in time, the worst thing a man deserved. I informed to many relatives and they started arriving. Till now I did not gave a hint of crying because of missing my dad but I cried cause I couldn’t see my mom’s state.

Later in the morning, my college friends came and started consoling me though I looked normal. Girls of my class too came to whom I haven’t talked or had a conversation, they made me feel guilty. My two of my best pals from the new school came. As the friends left I was alone roaming here and there was taking care of my mom and waiting for my brothers to return. They came by 4.00PM, even then I cried because my brothers were crying. It would have hurt them a lot as they couldn’t spend more time with Dad as I did.

As time went, my school friends came in one by one. I was speaking with them till 9.00PM as though nothing happened. I had that day’s first food at night 10.45PM with my younger brother and he was saying his plans to make over the Dad’s loss.

This was the day I cursed time for running slow as I could not see my mother in this condition.

June 6:

I woke up by 6.00AM; I know my brothers have not slept at all. I went and sat in my cars’ seat and started to think about the previous day. The last ride decorations were taking place in front of my house. Friends of my brothers came, finally by 10.00AM our custom started and I started to feel the weight in my heart. I could not see my dad in that condition nor my mom. Everyone surrounding us started shout and cry, all this time I was starring my dad as though I’ve never seen him before and waiting for him to wake up from his sleep, but till the end he did not.

We left home, with a group and with my dad being kept in decorated cart and being dragged by some other. We reached the graveyard, there we’re tonsured and we ignited our Dad; Back in my home things came little normal, till now I did not feel my dad’s absence or cried over my dad’s death. I was feeling only for my mom. The day went like chatting all the way with my younger cousin brothers and sisters.

June 7:

I hate this day for the custom it has, we went to the graveyard and undertaker started to dig for my dads’ bones from all parts. I took my dads’ half burnt teeth in my hand, and started to cry and cry, saw my dad as nothing but a shattered bones and coal. I cried, cried and cried but this time there was no one to console me neither my friends nor myself. Finally the ash and balance of my dad was taken and went to beach to dissolve those.

That was it, A man, A husband, A loving father and great friend of mine has finished his life and left the world. I know I’m missing my dad but couldn’t say or share with anyone.

As the seconds passed, minutes moved and hours changed and time went as though there is no life in it too. The relatives who was there had started to move, we four left all alone we started to sleep early. There was no late night chats, there was teasing, no smile, and No DAD. My nights were horrible there isn’t a night I used to sleep without having a small chat with my dad.

He loved me a lot; he is a strict person to everyone but not to me. Whatever mistakes I did he used to support me a lot but later used to correct me. He was the only one in this whole world who understands me well than any other. He knows what I need in my life than anyone, I never used to think or worry about my life or the difficulties when he was there. He was the only person to see pride in every small thing I did. He expected me to do medical, I failed him. He expected me to join IIT, I failed him. He asked me to write IAS exam, I failed him again.

A week before his demise we had a small fight he said that I’ll be the one to stay with my dad till the end. I’m not that shrewd to understand I’ll be the one to see my Dads’ horrible end. I pray sorry I wish you people not to have a terrible thing like seeing your Dad in an open ground like no one to care him. I don’t pray as my prayers are not answered and will not pray again to cheat myself, only my dad and my conscience are the two things I believe in.

My mom who used to look like a great flair and charisma with her red bindhi and flowers has withered her looks. I feel a lot, Whenever I used to see her ash smitten forehead. Every night I used to curse myself for letting my dad go all alone, and helplessness of myself for not saving my dad hurt me like hell. My wet pillow in night knows the state of mine. I always wanted to cry to someone but could not gain confidence as my ever sharing friend has gone. There is no substitute for him. The days I spend after my dad’s demise are the lonely days.

I know death is unavoidable in the laws of nature. But I would say it has got the wrong person in wrong time. We have seen our dad struggle to earn the best for us and by the time we were ready atleast my brothers were ready to give him a Kings’ Life. He left us alone and making me sharing things in a blog.

My sincere advise to all out there, please express your feelings to your parents. This will be the least thing you can do to make them happy. I hope I made my dad happy still my cup is half empty. I started to live as though my dad is near me always and seeing me. Even now he’ll be patting me at my back to go to sleep.

DAD I MISS YOU!!! These words aren’t enough to show my feeling. DAD I’M WAITING FOR YOU!!!:((

Gone are the days ..............

Hello Friends, Hope you know me better than myself. I always have an desire to write my own blog but didn’t come with an idea or topic to share. Now I’ve clicked with an idea of sharing my college life with you guys.

To The Topic!

One common thing which I heard right from my school days is this “College days are the one which no one wants to miss it or forget it” and I used to wonder when school days are the longer days together with our friends and the same friends sometime will get separated in so called college life then how come it becomes the evergreen memory of everyone. This bewildered me a lot and with that fuss and confusion I started my college life in Sri Muthukumaran Institute of Technology, Mangadu.

The first year started and ended as nothing in anyone’s heart this year was all about learning the new found college rules and getting introduction from one another and adapting to the new environment. Everything was new in the first year, the mechanical classes, the electrical & electronics classes all were new. The whole class standing for EDC period and the whole class sleeping in the period after the lunch are the notable unity in our class. For me I did some naughty works where I would get caught red-handed like throwing rubber at lecturer, Outstanding student in Engg Graphics and many other, but thanks to cricket which has thrown some light among us and our friendships.

As the first year was not that great nothing expected from the second year except for the new syllabus and class nothing was new. I found a new place with two other mates and soon started to dive into an ocean of friendship. This was the time when we got close to each other and started to share our feelings. The time used to do its job by running, running and running, we used to think that it runs fast but the fact is that we couldn’t find time to enjoy every funny experience and the incident in our class such was the class atmosphere. Keeping the mouth shut for any questions asked by our lecturers and eating the lunch in break were the commonly found thing in our class. We started going to symposiums just to have lunch and a day off. I would say this is the year where our college life turned into new dimension touched new horizon.

The third year started with great bliss and excitement this was the year I found myself interested various other things other than studies and academics. I was inspired to draw by my bench mate who used to draw quite well and used to give me tips regarding it I started drawing, my class lecturers and sometime girls (SORRY) was my usual target. As for as my academics is concerned its another OUTSTANDING year. Regarding my class they have showed some great improvements by eating the lunch in the class hours. This year we had really a talented professor LALITHA as our class-in-charge, who used to encourage us very well she succeeded in that by getting some good results, she had a very good strategy of controlling us. But for us only FUN LAUGH SMILE were our only facial expressions and the excitement never used to die. This was the year where we thought about our future but only a few succeeded in planning it perfect and only a few out of them executed the plan very well. We used to have great fun by teasing the teachers and make them cry, they in return used to curse a lot. Again this year had a couple of demises one is a Girls’ Parent in the middle of third year and all planned to go her home but never materialized for some like me. Another Demise is on the very end of the same year which is a huge blow for me, couple of days after the sixth semester exams and three days after my Parents’ Anniversary day, My DAD died, a great friend of mine to whom I’ve shared almost everything. I know to die is nature, but it caught my dad very much before. I just informed two of my friends but the whole class responded well even my class girls came to my home, Has to say them a big THANK YOU which I couldn’t say on that day or later. This was the year where many comic characters started to arise in our class.

And finally we entered the final year I was appointed as the Class Representative not cause of my behavior but out of mercy and I did a fair job by running here and there to confirm the tour and throwing a farewell party to Prof.LALITHA only notable things I’ve done as a class rep. I’ll call this year as the Fun unlimited everyone was having a wild time inside the class and the tour was the greatest highlight of the year. We went to a one week tour where we danced together, enjoyed together and the bonding among us was growing stronger and stronger. This year made us actively involved in SMS polling and forwarding the SMS, yeah this was the IPC fever. This was the year of preparations many prepared for the GRE, GATE, CAT and many for their interviews. Almost all of the lecturers were new , so while the lecturers spend their energy in teaching to walls and fans we had a busy chat and ate whatever we wish to have. While the year is still running, I already started to believe like many other “College days are the one which no one wants to miss it or forget it”. I’m humbled before you all and thanks to all for making every moment in these four years as an evergreen memory.

“Your Life will be beautiful when you grow up and up, but at some point of time you will always prefer to have a rewind button rather a play. “

I realize this is the time where I (hope you all too) prefer to have a rewind button to live our college life once again with greater ecstasy and excitement.